One month old and nearly 3 years.

It is hard to believe that my first baby is almost 3 years old!  It is also hard to believe that Cooper is already one month old.  How does time fly by so quickly?  Remember when you were younger and though felt like the days would drag on forever.  The sound of the clock would be increasing loud as it slowly, slowly, slowly ticked away at the minutes and second.  Now, I feel like that clock is spinning around and around hours whirl by and turn into days.  Weeks pass without even being able to catch my breathe.  My babies are growing up so quickly.  I struggle with the fact that Cooper may be our last and not knowing if that is what we really want. Perhaps my internal struggle comes from not being able to savor each moment with my children.  Knowing that time is fleeting and how can I possibly remember every adorable thing Laila says and every perfect coo that Cooper gives to me?  How can I be ok with knowing it is the last newborn onesie I will ever put on my baby and the last 3 am snuggle session I will have after nursing my perfect child back into a blissful slumber.  Only time will tell, I am sure far to quickly for my taste, if our family is complete or if it will be growing again.   I am not going to let the clock dictate my feelings about my babies that I do have now.  I will love every moment with them and not worry about even a passing second.

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