And then there were three

……..but soon to be four! No, no, there will not be another baby anytime soon. We are talking about getting a puppy! (I would settle for a kitty, but Steve has vetoed that idea) I am sure it won’t happen for a few months but sometime in the near to not so distant future. If it happens within the next few months it is because Benny has decided to get one. Otherwise, we have always said that once Laila turns one, we would start looking.

In other news, I am up with yet another migraine! I have been getting themconsistently for a month now a few times a week. So, I guess it is time to get back to the neurologist and chiropractor. I am very tired!

Laila had a great weekend at the cabin. She got to play with Grandma and Grandpa Tarasar and her puppy, Kiley. She even got to play cards as Grandpa’s partner…even though they lost both games. Oh well, I think he had the most fun with her on his lap! I’d take that over winning ANYDAY! Steve and I got to spend the afternoon by ourselves. We went up to The Bungalow (the cabin bar) and watched the gophers games. (Which means I talked while Steve pretended to listen …hehe )

It looks like we found a swim class for Laila and Ridley to go to this summer. I am so excited to get those babies in the water! (Victoria, not so excited for ME to get in the water! ) 🙂 We have also been talking about zoo memberships but we do also live by a great “free” zoo and conservatory which I am sure we will frequent.

On the bummer side of this post, we are looking for a new daycare. For 2 reasons, we have been having a few issues with our current one. Which have all been resolved but I still am not totally happy with the owners of the daycare. The second (and deciding factor) reason is just money. It has become too expensive with the choices that we have made (ie- me taking a significant pay cut to work at my current job and be able to spend more time with baby girl) to continue on this path.

I am torn because I love all the girls who take care of Laila and I KNOW that they love her so much. They take such amazing care of her, but we really can’t go broke because of that. There has to be a better option that will fit our life. There has to be someone out there that will love her as much as they do and can take amazing care of our precious baby girl. It is just such a heart-wrenching issue to have to deal with.

I cannot tell you the agony I am going through coming to terms with the fact that I have to pull her from a place she loves because of MONEY, of all things. I wish that there was something wrong with the daycare so I could justify taking her out…but there isn’t. It is, plain and simple, the worst feeling that I have ever had.

Which leads to me to another topic. I have decided to go back to school. Well, we have decided to send me back to school. After dealing with the pain and guilt of not being able to keep her in a daycare we love because of money, I think it is really the only way to avoid it in the future. While I do believe there is room for advancement in my current job, there is never any guarantee. I need to do this for myself and for Laila. She needs to know that her mommy can go after her dreams and finish something that she has always wanted to do!

Now, to put your mind at ease…we aren’t broke. We are poor 🙂 but who isn’t. But we have food to eat, a warm place to live and clothes on our back. I have amazing parents who provide so many thing for Laila that I know we wouldn’t be able to on our own. I want to say thanks (for the millionth time but it is never enough) to my mom and dad for all the clothes you buy Laila, all the books and toys for ALL the time you spend with her and all the time you give us to spend alone. You don’t know how much we look forward to Wednesday nights when it has been a rough week. We are FOREVER indebted to you and I know you know how hard it is to be in our position.

This is the longest blogpost ever, I just have a lot of things that I needed to get out. Bebe would probably tell me that maybe my migraine is the stewing issues inside that I need to let go….I maybe am starting to catch on to these things.

I am going to go back upstairs and try to go to sleep for 2 more hours before it is time to start another week of work. But I will leave you with this picture of my silly, perfect, gorgeous baby girl.

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